My Man, My Hero

I was on a road trip with an unknown female companion. Everything was going pretty good until we stopped at a convenience store. My friend needed to buy gas and I really needed to use the restroom. 

The store was pretty crowded. While on my way to the restroom, some big man was trying to talk to/flirt with me. I barely acknowledged him as I made my way to the restroom. It was pretty big, but had no doors or barriers for stalls. I was the only person in there and since I had to use it so badly, I did my business as quick as I could before anybody else came in. As soon as I finished, I heard the voice of the big man outside the restroom. He made his way inside the women's restroom talkin ish. 

"What the f*** are you doing in here?!" I asked, looking to see if anybody was going to come in and make him leave. 

"Ain't nobody out there. They can't hear you. It's just me and you, baby," he said, chuckling as he walked towards me. 

"You'd better not touch me!"

"What you go'n do, huh?"

Then for some reason, I decided to yell for LaMar (who wasn't even supposed to be in this dream because I'm miles away from him on this road trip) because I knew he of all people would've been able to protect and defend me.

I yelled as loud as I could, "LaMar!! LAMAR!!!!!"

Lo and behold, LaMar appeared at the entrance of the restroom ready to kick this man's ass!

"What's up, p***y?!" he asked the big man, sizing him up. 

Unfortunately, I woke up before the fight happened 😞

Oh, No, She Didn't!

I was driving around with Teddy in the passenger seat and Marla, Kimberly and Tiger in the back seat. Seated in between Teddy and me, was a lady who looked like Penelope Cruz. Not sure how we knew her, but she was with us. I was getting frustrated with driving because there were several car accidents and road construction going on and we kept missing the detours. Everybody in the car kept telling me how to drive and I was getting more and more pissed off. Finally, I pull to the side of the street and start cleaning out my car. There were old cups, napkins and stuff everywhere, so I had this sudden urge to clean. I looked at my dashboard and this Penelope Cruz look-a-like had a cigarette -- or Black & Mild -- burning in an ashtray.

"Um, I don't let nobody smoke in my car. So could you put that out, please?" I said to her with plenty of attitude.

"What you mean you don't let nobody smoke in your car?" She asked, with an attitude that matched mine.

"Just like I said -- nobody smokes in my car! If you don't like it then get the F*** out!" (I sounded just like my mother.)

"Well, maybe I WILL get outta your f***ing car!" Then she grabbed my arm and pinched me.

I said in disbelief, "I know this b**** did not just pinch me."

I tried to grab her and beat her ass, but couldn't get a hold of her. So I told Marla and Kimberly to hold her down for me. We all started beating the hell outta her. She was trying to escape, so I got out of the car and ran over to meet her on the passenger side to continue her ass-whuppin. But I woke up before I got to throw another punch.

I Lose My Cool

Teresa and I were moving some things out of Rob's house. Whatever we were moving out needed to be pulled by a tow truck. While Rob was trying to turn the tow truck around in the driveway, I got into his other truck and tried to park it in front of the house, but I couldn't brake. Since I couldn't stop, I had to keep driving until I could brake, hit something, run out of gas -- whatever. Luckily, the brakes kicked in and I was able to stop a few blocks from Rob's house. Somehow, Teresa was now in the car with me. We got out of the truck and walked to our new house. When we were halfway there I realized we'd left Rob's truck, but decided to get it back to him later.

Sometime after we got home, Curtis, Maurice and some dude we didn't know stopped by to see our place. While Teresa was in her bedroom, I was in the kitchen talking with the guys when Maurice said something that pissed me off.

"Oh, was that supposed to be funny?" I asked angrily. "What's that supposed to mean? What the fuck is so funny? You know what -- you need to shut the fuck up sometimes!"

I ran over to where he was sitting and put him in a headlock. Then I pushed him to the floor and started choking him and screaming at him. Curtis and the other guy sat there speechless. Teresa finally came out and we went outside and I began to tell her the drama she just missed.

"What happened?" she asked.

I replied with frustration, "Ugh, Maurice -- he just -- UGH!!!"

I broke down crying...