3.16.2008

Oh, No, She Didn't!

I was driving around with Teddy in the passenger seat and Marla, Kimberly and Tiger in the back seat. Seated in between Teddy and me, was a lady who looked like Penelope Cruz. Not sure how we knew her, but she was with us. I was getting frustrated with driving because there were several car accidents and road construction going on and we kept missing the detours. Everybody in the car kept telling me how to drive and I was getting more and more pissed off. Finally, I pull to the side of the street and start cleaning out my car. There were old cups, napkins and stuff everywhere, so I had this sudden urge to clean. I looked at my dashboard and this Penelope Cruz look-a-like had a cigarette -- or Black & Mild -- burning in an ashtray.

"Um, I don't let nobody smoke in my car. So could you put that out, please?" I said to her with plenty of attitude.

"What you mean you don't let nobody smoke in your car?" She asked, with an attitude that matched mine.

"Just like I said -- nobody smokes in my car! If you don't like it then get the F*** out!" (I sounded just like my mother.)

"Well, maybe I WILL get outta your f***ing car!" Then she grabbed my arm and pinched me.

I said in disbelief, "I know this b**** did not just pinch me."

I tried to grab her and beat her ass, but couldn't get a hold of her. So I told Marla and Kimberly to hold her down for me. We all started beating the hell outta her. She was trying to escape, so I got out of the car and ran over to meet her on the passenger side to continue her ass-whuppin. But I woke up before I got to throw another punch.

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