Me & Reggie, Interrupted

My favorite eye-candy, Reggie Bush, was having a get-together at his house. It wasn't a big party. Just a small number of people socializing, eating, drinking, watching tv, playing cards and stuff. Somehow, my sisters and I were invited and of course we were having a good time. But I just could not get close to Reggie like I wanted. Well, it was getting late and most of us were too tired to drive home, so Reggie said it was fine with him if we stayed overnight since he had plenty of bedrooms. Later on, he walked into a room that Marla and I were in, checking to see if we were comfortable and everything. Marla said to him, "I didn't bring any sleeping clothes with me."

He responds, "I may have a shirt you can sleep in. Would you like that?"

"Sure!" she exclaimed.

Now I'm jealous as hell because Marla got his attention before I could. Hell, I wanted a shirt of his, too! So what did I do? As if I was in school, I eagerly raised my hand and said, "Ooo, ooo -- I need a shirt too, Reggie!"

Then he left to get our shirts. Marla gave me a grin as I shot her an evil glare.

Crimson Blue Streak

After Kansas' NCAA Championship win, I could barely get to sleep. When I finally got to sleep, I had a dream that Mario Chalmers and Derrick Rose had this dialogue when Chalmers scored that tie breaker. (In case you don't know, it's from the scene in "Blue Streak" -- right before Martin Lawrence subdued Dave Chappelle in the alley. )

Oh, No, She Didn't!

I was driving around with Teddy in the passenger seat and Marla, Kimberly and Tiger in the back seat. Seated in between Teddy and me, was a lady who looked like Penelope Cruz. Not sure how we knew her, but she was with us. I was getting frustrated with driving because there were several car accidents and road construction going on and we kept missing the detours. Everybody in the car kept telling me how to drive and I was getting more and more pissed off. Finally, I pull to the side of the street and start cleaning out my car. There were old cups, napkins and stuff everywhere, so I had this sudden urge to clean. I looked at my dashboard and this Penelope Cruz look-a-like had a cigarette -- or Black & Mild -- burning in an ashtray.

"Um, I don't let nobody smoke in my car. So could you put that out, please?" I said to her with plenty of attitude.

"What you mean you don't let nobody smoke in your car?" She asked, with an attitude that matched mine.

"Just like I said -- nobody smokes in my car! If you don't like it then get the F*** out!" (I sounded just like my mother.)

"Well, maybe I WILL get outta your f***ing car!" Then she grabbed my arm and pinched me.

I said in disbelief, "I know this b**** did not just pinch me."

I tried to grab her and beat her ass, but couldn't get a hold of her. So I told Marla and Kimberly to hold her down for me. We all started beating the hell outta her. She was trying to escape, so I got out of the car and ran over to meet her on the passenger side to continue her ass-whuppin. But I woke up before I got to throw another punch.

Turning Back the Hands of Time

This dream took place in two different centuries...

It was sometime in the 1850s or 1860s. I was Abraham Lincoln's daughter. (To my knowledge, he never had any daughters in real life.) We were in a hotel or apartment building looking for a man who was wanted by the police. I had a nanny who also helped with the search. She looked like a Japanese anime cartoon character and never spoke. We searched for the man at night, checking all the rooms on every floor. My nanny searched by herself. Every time we went down a flight of stairs, she was going up -- passing us each time. Finally, some man told us where he saw the man.

Then, the year was sometime in the mid to late 1990s. I was at home with my mother and a little boy who I guess was my brother. We kept hearing about white and Asian men in the city that were going to every neighborhood, looking for black people to kill. I asked Momma what we should do and she said she didn't believe that they'll do anything to us. We started to go outside. Momma was running for safety with my little brother, but I couldn't keep up with them. They tried hiding behind some bushes as we saw a white man on a horse, headed for our house. Before I got to hide or protect them, he started shooting at them...

Can A Brother Die With Dignity?

I was at my apartment in Waterloo, Iowa when I got a phone call from Momma saying that Teddy was dying from a terminal illness. I rushed home to see him and was outraged when I saw that they had Teddy lying on top of the deep freezer we kept at the end of the hallway. He was dirty and pale, had on raggedy clothes and no shoes and his hair hadn't been groomed for days, maybe weeks. He also looked like he was going to pass out at any minute. He was shivering like crazy, but they only put a small, thin blanket over him! I started yelling at Momma, Marla and Kimberly for not taking good care of him, but they all ignored me.

Hours later, Momma came in the living room crying and said Teddy just died.

"What? What do you mean he's dead?" I asked. "How can he be dead? What kind of illness did he have?"

Momma yelled, "I don't know, Reena, okay?! He's dead! He was sick! I've already called the people to pick up his body."

I ran in the hallway where Teddy was still lying on top of the deep freezer. He wasn't even dead! His eyes were still moving! I yelled at Momma again for treating him so badly, but she felt like she was doing the right thing. There was nothing else I could say. I looked over at Teddy and began to cry. He looked at me, then at Momma and said, "Man, forget it!"

He got off the deep freezer and just walked away...

Leaving Gappy

Ethel May Tillman a.k.a. "Gappy" passed away in May '98, while I was on a class trip in Italy. Although I visited her before I left the country, I never said a proper goodbye to her. Just as I was about to hug and kiss her goodbye, I saw that she was sleeping peacefully in her bed. I didn't want to disturb her. I left her home that day feeling very sure that she'd be around when I returned. I missed her funeral and everything.

I decided to visit Gappy for awhile and Teresa came with me. When we got there, PawPaw was cleaning up and doing other chores for her. Gappy was her normal self in this dream, except she was blind. She and Teresa got well-acquainted and started making friendly jokes about me. I laughed with them and walked over to Gappy, gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. At first, she thought it was someone else and I told her it was me. We both chuckled as I turned to leave. When I turned back around to face her, her smile faded and she said, "You left me."

I Lose My Cool

Teresa and I were moving some things out of Rob's house. Whatever we were moving out needed to be pulled by a tow truck. While Rob was trying to turn the tow truck around in the driveway, I got into his other truck and tried to park it in front of the house, but I couldn't brake. Since I couldn't stop, I had to keep driving until I could brake, hit something, run out of gas -- whatever. Luckily, the brakes kicked in and I was able to stop a few blocks from Rob's house. Somehow, Teresa was now in the car with me. We got out of the truck and walked to our new house. When we were halfway there I realized we'd left Rob's truck, but decided to get it back to him later.

Sometime after we got home, Curtis, Maurice and some dude we didn't know stopped by to see our place. While Teresa was in her bedroom, I was in the kitchen talking with the guys when Maurice said something that pissed me off.

"Oh, was that supposed to be funny?" I asked angrily. "What's that supposed to mean? What the fuck is so funny? You know what -- you need to shut the fuck up sometimes!"

I ran over to where he was sitting and put him in a headlock. Then I pushed him to the floor and started choking him and screaming at him. Curtis and the other guy sat there speechless. Teresa finally came out and we went outside and I began to tell her the drama she just missed.

"What happened?" she asked.

I replied with frustration, "Ugh, Maurice -- he just -- UGH!!!"

I broke down crying...

The Littleton Incident

This dream occurred several weeks after the shooting at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado in the spring of 1991.

I was either in a high school or college classroom full of students when someone came in warning us that there were two dudes going around shooting people. All of a sudden, two boys walked in blasting their guns. Everyone hit the floor immediately. I was laid out on the floor on my stomach, trying to pretend like I was dead. I tried my best to hold my breath. One of the shooters stood right over me. I could feel him watching me. I couldn't hold my breath any longer, so I gasped and took a big breath. The boy standing over me said, "Hey, this one's still alive. I'm gonna have to finish her." I could feel him pointing the gun at my head and got so scared that I pretended I was choking on my own blood, hoping it would make them think I was dying! Right before he pulled the trigger, I woke up...

I am Serious... and Don't Call Me Lucy!

I was meeting with the a group of women (including the four stars of Sex and the City) for lunch in a snazzy restaurant. While waiting for a table, we were sitting in the lobby, chatting it up with one another. I mentioned how nice it was for women of all backgrounds and professions to get together to have lunch, talk, etc. Then this arrogant, middle-aged lady interrupted me and agreed that it was nice that we could all make time for each other and ends her remark with "like little Lucy here said", referring to me, with a dismissed wave.

"Who the fuck is Lucy?!" I yelled. Then I slapped her -- hard!

Everybody got quiet.

"My name ain't no damn Lucy!" I slapped her again. "My name is Precious."

The lady sat stunned, with her hand to her cheek, but everyone else laughed and giggled like it was some form of entertainment. Or as if they were used to that kind of behavior from me. (I'm not like that in real life!)

I was so pissed off that this lady called me Lucy, when she knew my name, I just walked away chuckling to myself. I didn't even stay for lunch.